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NoCOUG watchers protest despicable tactics being used by NoCOUG management


FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE

NoCOUG watchers protest despicable tactics being used by NoCOUG management

SILICON VALLEY (NOVEMBER 13, 2014) – Veteran NoCOUG watchers all over Northern California have been protesting the despicable tactics being used by NoCOUG management to lure Oracle Database professionals to the NoCOUG conference at the beautiful eBay Town Hall next week. Instead of relying on the sheer quality of the technical education that NoCOUG has to offer, NoCOUG management is trying to tempt Oracle professionals with mouth-watering lunch options from the eBay cafeteria. The menu includes chicken tikka masalapalak paneeraloo gobi(vegan), vegetable poriyalchick pea salad, vegetable samosas, steamed basmati rice, lentil dahlnaan bread, mint chutneytomato chutney, and cookies.

There’s even a taco bar for those who don’t care that much for curry.

David L. from San Francisco indignantly emailed: “CTM for lunch?  That’s not playing fair.  I might get in traffic for that.”

Mark S. from Davis cynically commented on LinkedIn: “Finally, there is something on the agenda that suits my tastes!”

When contacted for comment, the NoCOUG spokeperson proved unabashedly unapologetic: “There is no legal prohibition against offering mouth-watering lunch options to conference attendees. I urge all Oracle Database professionals to attend this conference. For database administrators, I recommend the Managing the Largest OLTP Database in the World session by the PayPal DBA team. For architects, I recommend Database Platform Selection Tool by the eBay data architects. And, for boys and girls of all ages, I recommend Toad Overview and Roadmap for DBAs, Developers, and Data Analysts. There will also be opportunities to take the eBay Commerce Innovation Showcase tour which is usually offered to industry analysts only. The signup sheet will be posted in the lobby; it’s first come, first served.”

Our reporter heard the NoCOUG spokesperson chuckle as he hung up.

From a NoCOUG insider who asked not to be named publicly, our reporter learned that registrations are going through the proverbial roof as shown in the graph below. On further investigation, he discovered that there is going to be an ice cream social immediately following the Beyond High Availability: Replication’s Changing Role session in the afternoon, further evidence that NoCOUG management will go to any lengths to increase conference attendance.

Conference Registrations

Conference registration is still open at http://www.nocoug.org/rsvp.html but potential conference attendees are strongly advised to beware of the blandishments and make a purely rational decision to take advantage of the opportunity to hear first-hand from the PayPal and eBay database administrators and data architects, not be tempted by samosas and ice cream.

I Scream, You Scream, We All Scream For Ice Cream (scene from “Down By Law”)

Categories: Announcements, NoCOUG
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