Oracel CEO Tearfully Promises Reform
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Oracel CEO Tearfully Promises Reform
Neverland (April 1, 2010) – Speaking to reporters by satellite phone from aboard his brand new yacht during a provisioning stop on the sunny isle of Neverland, Oracel CEO Larry Ellis tearfully promised that Oracel would consider mending its ways someday.
- Oracel Corporation will someday consider abandoning its game plan of absorbing the entire software and hardware industry within Larry’s lifetime.
- Oracel Corporation will someday consider revamping the Oracel Database documentation. No longer will OLD_HASH_VALUE be cryptically described as the “Old SQL hash value” and drive customers to the excellent book by Norbert Debes for an explanation.
- Oracel Corporation will someday consider whether to continue charging customers for a major release every few years, as discovered by industry analyst Curt Monash.
When asked to explain the abrupt about face, Larry Ellis picked up a well-thumbed copy of the Oracel 7 Server ™ Concepts Manual and solemnly intoned the opening quote from the chapter on data concurrency: “A foolish consistency is the hobgoblin of little minds, adored by little statesmen and philosophers and divines.”
When contacted for further comment, Oracel President Charles Philippe shook his head sadly and suggested that Larry had been breathing too much salt air. Quoth he: “With consistency a great soul has simply nothing to do. He may as well concern himself with his shadow on the wall. Speak what you think now in hard words; and to-morrow speak what to-morrow thinks in hard words again, though it contradict every thing you said to-day.”
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